MissSearles

2010-10-15T15:36:00.002+01:00

I'm giving up on this for a while.
I'm tired and confused.
I need to find my focus otherwise I think I'm going to go mad.
Things don't feel settled, I don't feel like I have a plan at the moment and I can't work like that. I don't like just floating along.

Things are great with The Boyfriend and with family/at home, I'm happy, no need to worry, I'm just a bit lost that's all.

I will be back, just not for a little while.
I'm still reading and commenting on your blogs.

I'll check in on Twitter when I can and you can reach me via email/Facebook.
xxxxxxxxxx

I know I'm a pain in the arse but its why you love me isnt it?!

2010-06-21T13:54:00.000+01:00

Ok...don't get upset or annoyed, its not the end of the world...but I'm leaving...I've fallen in love with someone(something) else...Wordpress to be exact.

Those of you that know me well know that I form new loves/obsessions quickly and have a habit of chopping and changing my mind but this time its for a good reason I promise!
It's because of this post that I wrote a few weeks ago.
On Thursday it'll be 6 months since Xmas eve (most of you probably know what happened but for those that don't you can get the jist of it here)
And on Friday I'm off on holiday, hopefully to relax, re-group and close a door on the past 6 months.

This blog has been good to me, its created new friendships and served it purpose, it was supposed to be a way to help me get through things and have somewhere to vent and now I am happy and confident again and on Friday I will be able to say I've well and truly got my sparkle back (if this is confusing you then you really should read this post-it explains all things sparkly I promise)

To get to the point-my blog is moving to Wordpress and a new web address
http://theadventuresofanewmisssearles.wordpress.com

I'm not deleting this blog, I still want it here I just wont be writing on it anymore.
To put it simply (and a bit mushy) this blog is one chapter of my life that has now come to an end, I've hurt, I've healed and I'm ready to start over with a new chapter as a new MissSearles.

If you would be so kind as to change to the new address for Google Reader and stuff like that (that is assuming that people actually subscribe to me...) and come by and say Hello when I post Thursday panicking that I'm not at all organised for going away I would be a very happy lady :-)

See you in a few days in my new sparkly corner of the blogosphere!
Lots of love (a new) MissSearles
xxxxxxxxxxxx

MissSearles on Tour blog

2010-06-16T13:54:00.000+01:00

Some of you may have been wondering lately whats going on with the MissSearles on Tour blog!
I'm having some technical difficulties at the moment with the blog aspect of the website
It.Is.Broken
but for once its not actually my fault! The software I'm using doesn't like integrating with commenting systems or, vitally, uploading posts-hence the lack of new posts!
To be honest I'm not sure if theres much I can do to rectify it and may end up having to rebuild the website again so for now the MissSearles on Tour blog will be moving to www.misssearlesontour.wordpress.com

Week 1 - A is for Attitude

2010-06-15T22:15:00.000+01:00

This is the first week of

Lottie Loves… Finishing School

the A-Z of how to be feminine and fabulous

our task was

Week 1 – A is for Attitude

My little challenge for you these next two weeks is to think about what makes you happy about yourself.
Which bits of you do you like, which bits of you do you love? What have you achieved that you look at with satisfaction and joy? What do you like about your body? What do you love about being the woman you are? I want nothing negative, no buts just pure ‘this is what I like/love because…..

so here goes!

I like that I am independent-if I need to do something I can go out and do it by myself.
I like my legs and my 'dainty' hands.
I love that I am musically talented. I can sing and I love to do it. I can also pick up most instruments and learn to play them very quickly.
I like the colour of my eyes.
I like that I've learnt to let myself act on the spur of the moment
I like that I am good at making things.
I love that I get on with pretty much anyone.
Most of all I love that I am now happy and healthy :-)

Writing Workshop- Lost and (soon to be) Found

2010-06-10T15:45:00.003+01:00

This is my first time doing the Writing Workshop, I chose Prompt 2 - What part of you is lost that you would like to find again?

I lost a very important part of me a while ago, given the circumstances at the time its completely understandable-inevitable even, and these past few months and in fact the starting of this blog was my way of trying to get it back.

I lost my 'sparkle', my confidence, the thing that truly made me Me

It hasn't been easy trying to find it again, anyone that knows me or even follows this blog knows that I'm not patient person, its been a struggle these past few months and I've pushed to try and get it back when I just wasn't quite ready. Theres been highs and lows, mistakes and revelations. If I hadn't have been writing this blog and made the friends I have done through blogging I have no doubt that it would have taken me so much longer to find it again.
I've had to learn to be myself again, just Charlotte-on my own and not part of a couple, but its also given me a chance to redefine myself and think about what I want. When I started the blog back in January I was Charlotte and I just wrote under the name of MissSearles because I wasn't in a particularly inventive mood when I was thinking of blog names and it still gave me a bit of anonymity and something to hide behind (I know its my real surname but at the time it made me feel hopeful, in my head MissSearles was this independent woman who was just going to brush off what had happened and bounce back better than before...and I expected it all to happen straight away!)
But now, as cheesy as it sounds, I really feel like I am MissSearles, I'm all the things that I saw MissSearles being when I started writing, I'm happy, healthy, positive and confident, its just taken a while to get there.

In 14 days I'm going away, I'm taking a step out of my 'old' Charlotte comfort zone and I'm getting on a plane by myself and flying to Canada to visit my great aunt and uncle.
When I booked the trip it was because I needed to get away and I wanted somewhere that was far away but somewhere I would feel safe, I didn't think about the fact that it would be my first holiday alone without my parents or sister - I just needed to escape.
This isn't the case anymore, I don't need to escape and I don't need to run away.
I do still need the holiday, I need time to relax, see family and be in the sun.
Most importantly I need this holiday to prove to myself that the thing I'd lost is back, it may sound really trivial but, as soon as I say goodbye to Dad and Natalie at the airport (they're dropping me off-mum has to work)...I'm going to be on my own, in an airport, about to board an 8hour flight - its something I would have been terrified to do before; I'd be panicking about what gate to go to and worrying I might get homesick whilst I was away...
But now I know I'll be fine because as soon as I check in for that flight and they leave I can finally give myself permission to close the door on the past few months, step out of my old comfort zone and leave behind the broken Charlotte that I started writing as and be the new MissSearles.

So in summary and to answer Josie's prompt
What part of you is lost that you would like to find again?
I've lost my sparkle but I've found it again (turns out its waiting for me at the Air Transat check in desk at Gatwick airport) and I know its going to be brighter than ever!

Damn you chocolate!!

2010-06-03T22:23:00.000+01:00

My throat stings and feels swollen :-(
I ate chocolate :-(
I know I shouldn't have but I really fancied some and always seem to forget how badly it hurts after I've eaten it and besides I'd already had a bit of a bad week already diet wise (I try to stay bread and dairy free) anyway.
I know, I know, I'm silly!
I mentioned it to mum and dad and got a bit told off (ahh the joys of living back at home!) for not sticking to what I know I can eat.
I've been getting headaches and stomach ache more and feeling generally run-down and I know its to do with food, I just don't want to have to admit it because its always the nice food that's bad for you :-(
Dad has said I should look into getting an allergy/intolerance test done and Mum said to make a list of foods/drinks that I can have.
Here's the list so far;
Water
Tea with soya milk (but I should probably cut that out too cos of the sugar and caffeine!)
Herbal teas
Chicken
Turkey
Fish
Vegetables
Fruit

I'm going to try to avoid anything thats quite starchy and anything fatty...Hmmm dinners are going to be interesting from now on *sob*

Any ideas for interesting meals? I'd love to hear them!!

Making-over MissSearles

2010-06-03T09:13:00.000+01:00

You may remember the other day that I mentioned my new friend Lottie, she recently wrote a brilliant post titled If I can do it you can! after having lots of feedback from her Think frock it's Friday idea and people saying how does she always look so immaculately groomed.
She says

I am merely a housewife who decided about 18 months ago (post ops) that I would never again look a mess and that every day I would make the effort

I really admire her for this because it's something I'd like to be able to do too.
I feel like things have finally settled down for me, I'm happy back at home, seeing friends more and doing my own thing and feel like I'm back to the old me. I don't mean for this to sound completely shallow, because its quite the opposite its about me feeling good about myself, but I feel like I should be upholding the MissSearles image/persona in my day to day life rather than just in the blogosphere. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't make an effort ever, some days I'll pick out a nice outfit to wear to work and do my make-up, it's just that some days I wake up feeling whats the point in doing all that and its a mind-set I really really want to get out of because I don't want it dragging me down.
So I am...Making-over MissSearles
First things first - Cleaning out my wardrobe
In her post Lottie shared a few tips with us, the first one being;

Go through your wardrobe and throw out everything that is too big/too small and that you really shouldn’t be seen in public in. If you shouldn’t be seen in public in it you shouldn’t be seen in private by your family in it either. This includes underwear and nightwear. It’s painful and hard and you may well end up with a wardrobe of three things but better that than a wardrobe full of nasty horrible clothing. If it’s not there you can’t put it on. I did this, it was painful but it felt soooo amazing to never have to look at the mountain of awful stuff I had and better still never have to put it on again

I've been meaning to do this for a long time and its probably ideal to do so now as I'm actually going out to buy new clothes next week :-)

Lottie has agreed to help me out with this and point me in the direction of the main items I should have in my wardrobe and will be sharing this in a guest post very soon!

Let the wardrobe cleansing commence...

Lorelai saves the day

2010-06-01T21:12:00.001+01:00

This is my second post in one day, now that's not something that happens very often!
But it is for a good reason, I want to introduce you to another one of my 'friends', she or rather they are called Lorelai. I am of course referring to the wonderful Gilmore Girls

Now before you say anything or start calling the men in white coats, yes, I do realise they are fictional television characters...*Ahem* I only refer to them as my 'friends' as they always cheer me up.

I got home from work today and really couldn't be bothered to do much, or at least anything that involved more than a little brain power so I thought I'd stick a DVD on and make a start in folding card to make my friends wedding invites (simple task, can't really get it wrong). I went through the usually DVDs that I stick on for a bit of background noise - Fast and Furious, Step-Up, Sex and the City but none of them were really appealing to me, so I reached for old faithful, those lovable Gilmore Girls!

I've now decided that I'm going to watch the entire back catalogue, all seven years and seven series of the Gilmore Girls in consecutive order over the next few months. You may call me a geek but at least I am a happy geek, contented by knowing that I am not alone in my love of all things Gilmore.
I'm also going to try and spread the GG love by posting some of the brilliant quotes that litter each and every episode on here now and then!

Quotes from Episode 1, Season 1
Lorelai : (Michel is ignoring the phone) Michel, the phone
Michel : Mmm hmm. It rings.
Lorelai : Can you answer it?
Michel : No, people are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to anymore of them.

Rory : You're happy
Lorelai : Yeah
Rory : (suspiciously) Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai : I'm not that happy

Tuesday Grumps

2010-06-01T13:53:00.001+01:00

In such an unnecessarily grumpy mood today, no idea why, everything is fine in my little world apart from the fact that I'm in a bad mood and so ergo everything is now deemed crap/ boring/pointless!
I've got a cuppa, I've been firing rubber bands at my work mate most of the morning and I'm playing with drills and screwdrivers today so I should be all happy and smiley but instead I just want to throw myself on the ground in a strop...but obviously I don't want to look silly, so instead I'm throwing a strop on the desk...

- Posted grumpily using BlogPress from my iPhone

First pictures with new camera!

2010-05-30T22:00:00.000+01:00

These are some of the first pictures I've taken with my new camera, using the Macro function.

Its proving a bit difficult to get used to as I'm used to manual focus SLR's but I'm sure I'll get there eventually!

Listening to my inner 'Yes' voice...and spending some money!

2010-05-30T21:33:00.000+01:00

Every since I left school/went into full time work I've never actually had a full months wage to myself. There has always been things to save and pay for, mainly to do with moving out, weddings or ex's breaking my cars (honest to god my poor Punto never went wrong when I was driving it but as soon as I let a boyfriend drive it they broke it!)
Now that I've moved back with my parents and cleared the final bills from my house I've found I've had some money left over! For the first time in my life I've actually had a bit of 'Money Freedom' and I've taken it as a chance to treat myself.
My first big spend wasn't so much a 'I've got the money to do this' sorta thing but more of a 'I need a break and I can afford to do this' spur of the moment decision. I've booked flights to go to Canada to visit my family at the end of June.
I find it very hard to hear my inner yes voice, as one of my Twitter friends aptly put it, and always feel a pang of guilt over spending money on something that isn't really an essential. I'm so glad I didn't think to hard about booking the flights because if I'd have slept on it I probably would have talked myself out of it and not booked them at all and I really feel like I could do with the break just to relax.
My next purchases are a classic case of me indulging my geeky side. I've said for ages that I'd like to get myself a nice camera, I don't know enough about photography to splash out on a SLR so I went for, in my opinion, the next best thing... a Canon PowerShot SX20 IS

I also bought a Flip Video camera, justified by the fact that both of these would be useful for me to take on 'Tour' and the fact that I'm a sucker for anything gadgety.

I'm still getting to grips with working out how to use the camera properly but I'll be posting some photos soon!

Think Frock It's Friday

2010-05-28T16:42:00.004+01:00

I've made a new friend, she's called Charlotte too, but she prefers Lottie.

She likes dresses, swing dance and all things vintage. She also likes to help people feel good about themselves which is why she created 'Think Frock It's Friday'

So this is me in a dress (its not the greatest photo...still getting the hang of my camera!)

Lottie is starting a new workshop over on her blog next week to 'help us all move forward in our quests to be fabulous, gorgeous and confident women' and I can't wait!

Multi-tasking Vs. Uni-tasking

2010-05-27T21:00:00.000+01:00

I like being busy and trying to multi-task.
I like having things to do and projects to work on.

I don't like feeling unorganized and I really don't like it when I can't concentrate because there is too much going on in my head. A few weeks ago I started a 'Tuesday To Do List' the idea being that if I wrote down a list on my blog I was more likely to get it done (because you lot would tell me off if not!) and that did work well, but I still felt like I had too much going on in my head.
I work best when there are routines or a schedule to follow-I like the feeling in control.
After a quick convo on Twitter with @vwallop and @mummylimited, where I was

Reassured I'm not a freak for considering making myself a schedule to plan out my evenings and
told that multi-tasking is a really inefficient way to work and pointed towards this article and I decided that I'd give Uni-tasking a go.

I came up with...

'a cunning plan'

It involves devising a schedule for some evenings during the week to help plan my time better and by trying Uni-tasking it means that I can just focus on one task at a time with no other distractions (so no music on while I'm trying to write, no Twitter (I know..its scary!) when I'm trying to sort paper work etc - it makes sense; I'm easily distracted, if I minimise distractions I should be able to work quicker and more efficiently)

I'm not going to go overboard and try to micro manage every last minute of my evening I'm just going to try setting aside a few hours that I can break down into chunks to work on certain areas; for example - setting aside time to blog, answer emails, catch up on my Google Reader, tidy-up.

I know this probably sounds amazingly boring, tedious and overly controlling to most of you but if you could experience just how busy and crazy my head feels some days then you'd understand why I'm so excited at the prospect of this working to help turn down the noise!

Greatest ever...yummy invention?

2010-05-26T14:00:00.000+01:00

As I was geekily perusing the Firebox website on my lunch break I saw the word 'chocolate', as someone who doesn't eat chocolate anymore (dairy makes my feel very ill) I am inexplicably drawn to anything that mentions it, yes I am a child/easily distracted.

Theses interesting looking thingies are 'Le Whif Chocolate Inhalers'

a lipstick-like inhaler that delivers a powdery hit of chocolate or coffee...Simply place it between your lips, breathe in and savour the ‘phsssht’ moment as your tongue is showered with heavenly micro-particles.

Could this be the Greatest ever chocolate hit inducing, without it really being chocolate, invention ever?
I'm thinking a big fat chocolaty YES!!

**This is NOT a sponsored post I just wanted to show you my geeky findings...unless the lovely people at Firebox want to send me something to review, in which case it is possible that it could become a blog dedicated to gadgety goodness...**

Photo and quote credit - Firebox.com

The Gallery - Friendship

2010-05-26T07:00:00.000+01:00

This is Carrie, she's one of my oldest friends, we met about 21 years ago at playschool :)

She moved away in junior school and we lost touch, she came back for a bit in senior school :) then she moved away again :-(

We got back in contact through Facebook a few years ago :)

She's just started her own blog

http://theprocrastinator2010.blogspot.com/

Okay, okay, I know-shameless plug for my friend but thats what friendship is all about!

Tuesday To Do List UPDATE

2010-05-25T14:38:00.000+01:00

~~Buy Travel insurance for Canada~~ Done :-)
~~MSonT - finish all info pages/finish drafting posts~~ Ummm kinda done but I might also kinda, mighta decided that I want to move to a .com and rebuild the site...maybe :-s
~~Work out the route for getting to Reading on Saturday for the #ReadingTweetUp~~ Had a great time, got back safe and sound, M25 wasn't as scary as I thought. Still gotta do the write up about it for MSonT though!
Change address on car insurance - Damn it, knew there was something I forgot!

Doing a To Do list like this has worked quite well for me, it been alot easier to keep track of the bits I needed to get done but my head has still felt too busy and all over the place (quite possibly my own fault - trying to do too much at once) so, after having an interesting discussion on Twitter yesterday about Multi-tasking Vs. Uni-tasking, I'm going to look at taking a slightly different tact in the way I approach tasks and how I managed my time.
I shall enlighten you tomorrow...as I'm currently supposed to be doing something else, bloody typical!

A Tale of Persistance, Tracey (my new bestfriend) and radioactive banana videocameras

2010-05-25T10:46:00.002+01:00

*I should probably point out first, I love getting deliveries/post/anything, also, if I buy something online I want it to come on the day they say it will...im not patient, I cant help it, when it comes to things like this I am a complete child-its an endering quality, ont you think?*
A few weeks ago I ordered myself a Flip video camera, it was supposed to turn up in time for the #ReadingTweetup but it didn't.
It is quite possible that I may have sulked about it a tiny bit, I gave Misco a call and asked when I could expect it and they said the next Tuesday at the latest (not brilliant but fine as long as I get it before going to Canada it's cool)
Tuesday rolls around and nothing :(
Wednesday, nothing. Make a phone call 'we're expecting stock tomorrow, it will be with you in Friday' Hhmph, ok.
Friday....DHL main arrives but no packages for me, another phone call 'It will be with you Monday' Its ok I can be patient, Monday is fine.
Monday....Nothing :( Too lazy to call again so send an email (it is also possible that I may have been harassing the lovely customer service people about the stock delivery via email...maybe) Reply 'Having problem obtaining stock from manufacturer' :(
Tuesday - Another phone call to customer services, got to speak to the lovely Tracey who is now my best friend...
Me- 'Hello, Ive called a few times over the past few weeks and keep getting told different dates for stock delivery on this item, are there any updates?'
Misco-'Hiya, actually I think I took your call last week about this! I'll just have a look for you...Oh..umm it's kinda outta stock until August...'
Me - 'Nooooooooo!!! Any chance there are any others in stock, other colours, anything??'
Misco - 'Hang on a sec...we do have some but they're more expensive (next model up)...and yellow..'
Me - 'How much more expensive?'
Misco - 'About £15'
Me - 'hmmm..how yellow? Banana yellow or Hi-vis jacket yellow?'
Misco - 'Radioactive banana yellow...BUT I could probably adjust the price for you and have it to you tomorrow morning!'
Me - 'You would be my best friend in the whole wide world if you could do that!!' :)
Misco - 'Ok that's all done for you :)

So I now have a new best friend, a radioactive banana yellow Flip video camera on it's way and more than likely, a restraining order to stop me calling customer services again!
Cheers @Misco_UK
All is good with the world :)

AWOL

2010-05-23T15:22:00.001+01:00

Well that was one hell of a busy week, I've been a bit sidetracked to say the least!
Yes I know I should have done a write up on the trip to Reading for MSOT and I should have reported back on how I got on with Tuesdays To Do list, I have no excuse other than the fact that its been a busy week of late nights and hanging out with friends with a knock-out 48hr cold thrown in.

Lots of updates coming soon (hopefully tonight) but right now I'm off down the pub to sit in the sun :-)

My brain has gone to squidge

2010-05-14T09:54:00.001+01:00

I'm split between TGIF-looking forward to a weekend away at the #Reading Tweet-up and meeting other bloggers and the guest of honour Heather for the first time and OMFG it's Friday and I still have so much I wanted to get done on the MSOT blog and at home and just in general.
My brain has gone to a squidge like state, but it seems like the idea of using lists is working quite well, I've managed to cross the following of the Tuesday To Do List;

Buy Travel insurance for Canada
~~Sort out the paperwork/letters/bills in the overflowing letter rack~~ Finals utilities bills from living in the old house have been paid,letters that need replying too have been put it priority order and paperwork has been shredded/filed
~~Pack and send Secret Post club gif~~t
~~Handwash MSonT hoody~~ All clean and ready for this weekend...smells very strongly of hand wash stuff though :-s
~~Sort through the basket of clean washing that's sitting by my wardrobe~~..and maybe do some ironing Have picked out what I'm wearing for the Tweet-up and luckily it doesn't have to be ironed
MSonT - finish all info pages/finish drafting posts
Work out the route for getting to Reading on Saturday for the #ReadingTweetUp
Change address on car insurance

I think it may be easiest if my life was just one big list from now on...oooo and maybe I need a schedule/routine too...I feel a spreadsheet coming on!!

Tuesday To Do List

2010-05-11T12:37:00.002+01:00

Today my head is full of mush, much in keeping with yesterdays post, so it seems like the perfect time to create 'Tuesday To Do List ' and try to form some of the mush into words, in a list, on my blog for all to see and make sure I get done.
Here's what I want to get sorted this week;

Buy Travel insurance for Canada
Sort out the paperwork/letters/bills in the overflowing letter rack
Pack and send Secret Post club gift
Handwash MSonT hoody
Sort through the basket of clean washing that's sitting by my wardrobe..and maybe do some ironing
MSonT - finish all info pages/finish drafting posts
Work out the route for getting to Reading on Saturday for the #ReadingTweetUp
Change address on car insurance

Adult ADHD?

2010-05-10T20:01:00.001+01:00

I've written posts in the past about how sometimes I feel like I cant concentrate and have too much going on in my head. Then there was that one time when I couldn't actually remember what day it was and had no recollection of the few days prior.

I find it difficult to focus my thoughts sometimes and work on one project at a time, I'll often go off on tangents in conversation and have no idea what i was originally talking about. I have been known to end up crying in a heap on the floor (mainly when tired) because i cant work out what I'm supposed to be doing because my head feels too jumbled to think straight.

I don't do relaxing, I cant sit still for long enough to relax. If I'm sitting at my desk I'm either tapping my foot, swinging my legs and playing with a pen/rubber/band/phone cord.

I don't remember a time when I've ever been any different, definitely not in recent years anyway, and Ive always just put it down to being a bit crazy different hyperactive.

Good news though! Turns out I'm not the only one, in one of the rare moment where I actually focused for long enough to go through some of the unread posts in my google reader I saw that Slummy Single Mummy had written a post about Adult ADHD and it turns out shes just as brain power vs. time management-ly challenge as i am.

She posted a link to a highly scientificial and quite obviously definitive quiz and being the hypochondriac that I am I raced over to get my diagnosis.

(FYI Slummy Single Mummy scored 70 on this test)

If you scored… You may have…

70 & up Adult ADHD

50 – 69 Moderate ADHD

35 – 49 Mild ADHD

25 – 34 Borderline ADHD

0 – 24 No ADHD likely

Umm...yeah...I scored 85!

But look at the pretty badge I get

Lately it's been getting me more and more stressed out that I can't focus on things or I just simply don't get things done, but I have a plan!!

This, my bloggy pals, is where you come in.
Every week I am going to post a To Do list and I'm going to report back on how I'm getting on, it is your task to keep me in line, tell me off when I'm slacking/offer encouragement and cups of tea.

If I know theres people checking up on I'm more likely to get things done...I hope...oh well, guess its worth a try!

MissSearles the Model?

2010-05-09T22:04:00.001+01:00

Ok so its not exactly a Vogue style shoot BUT the official MissSearles on Tour photos have now been done.

AND

as you can see from my new hair-do

I think its safe to say that I've finally got my colours back!

Party over here, Party over there!!

2010-05-08T18:00:00.002+01:00

What are you doing over here??

Didn't you know there's a party going on over at the MissSearles on Tour blog!

Wait...you don't know what MissSearles on Tour is?

You better get over there quick and have wander around, find out whats going on, its going to be an awesome project that I'd love you all to get involved in.

Come over and say Hi and help yourself to a *virtual* drink or two

Can't wait to see you!

Grumpy

2010-04-29T14:42:00.002+01:00

I feel like I'm all over the place today.
My brain has gone all mushy and I cant concentrate, I've got 101 ideas going round in my brain and a To Do list as long as my arm. There's not enough hours in the day to get everything done and even if there were more hours I'd probably spend them on Twitter!

I'm hungry but I can't work out what I want to eat. I'm too warm but if I take off my jacket I'm too cold. I'm fidgety and I can't get comfy on my seat.

I'm clingy and needy but no-ones answering their texts or emails.
I've got things I want to do but I've got not motivation.

Yes, I'm grumpy and yes it will probably pass in a few hours but at the moment I'm grumpy and I want a cuddle goddammit!!

- Posted grumpily using BlogPress from my iPhone (why isn't there a cuddle app?!?)

The Four

2010-04-29T12:24:00.000+01:00

I''ve been tagged with this Meme created by my lovely penpal Chelle over at Chelle's Place

The Four.

(Feel free to add or replace a subject)

Jobs you had:

Trainee Estate Agent-hated it!
Nursery Nurse-loved it, really miss my kiddies sometimes, some of my closest friends now were the girlies from that nursery :-)
Ann Summers Rep-funny job, horrible boss even though I always hit my £500 target every month
Data Administration Clerk-Current job, I'm in charge of lots of lovely databases and spreadsheets that I don't like people touching and messing up!

~~Places you lived:~~ I'm changing this to...
Places you've like to live:

Holland-when things go wrong my first thought is always 'I could always go and live in Holland!'
Canada-I am slightly worried that when I go to Canada for my holiday in a few weeks I may not want to come back
Japan-would love to experience such a different culture
My own flat!

Movies you can't see too many times:

Step-Up 2
Dirty Dancing
SATC
Any of the Fast and Furious films

Websites you visit daily:

Google Reader
Blogger
Facebook
Twitter

Things you like to eat:

Chicken
Sweetcorn
Lemon Sorbet
Chips

Places you would like to be:

Beach somewhere sunny
Singing on stage
Disneyland/Disneyworld
Dover (I love that going on holiday feeling!)

TV's shows you like to watch:

Gilmore Girls
Glee
House
Scrubs

What you dislike:

Boredom
Feeling ill
When my attention span is lacking (usually due to too much going around in my head!)
Not getting enough sleep

Best books you have read:

Confessions of a Shopaholic
This Book Will Save Your Life
The Great Gatsby (loved studying this book at school)
(this ones a bit of a cheat but its my all time favourite kiddies book) Guess How Much I Love You?

The rules:

1. Use the subjects above or feel free to add or change any.

2. Fill in your answers and post them on your blog, feel free to copy the logo.

3. Tag two people and let them now you tagged them and send the link to who tagged you.

I'm going to tag...
Heather @ Eggs, Cream and Honey
And
Emma @ Me, The Man & The Baby

It's the little things #1

2010-04-28T09:38:00.001+01:00

It's funny how the smallest of things instill so much excitment in me, I checked the ParcleForce website this morning to see how long it would be until I received a very exciting parcel...

It's on it's way now!!
This news has caused me to do a little happy dance at work (I am deadly serious-it's quite possibly an idea for a Vlog post...the many dances of MissSearles)
My friend noticed me dancing and said 'So what time is the parcle getting here then?'
They know me too well!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone cos I'm a geek

The Greatest Ever...Idea

2010-04-23T14:12:00.003+01:00

The story of my greatest ever idea starts like many of my other 'greatest idea' stories...early in the morning with a cup of tea in hand and without much thought put behind it.
Let me set the scene - it's the morning of my 22nd birthday, I was sitting on the edge of my bed in a towel after just getting out of the shower, cup of tea in hand when all of a sudden I had an amazing idea...so I did what any normal person does and announced the fact on Twitter

At that point in time it was only an idea, I had no kind of plan behind it all I'd thought of was the fact that
1. I thought it would be fun/funny
2. It would give me a chance to play around with a new blog
3. Its my birthday (kinda forgot that in the whole brilliant new idea excitement)

Although most of my brilliant ideas are almost always absolutely fool proof *ahem* I thought I'd double check with someone first, so after a quick chat with Heather* (@notefromlapland), via the godsend that is Google Chat and her confirming that it is indeed one of my best ideas ever, I got to work.

After spending most of that day arseing about deciding if I should host it on my own domain or on Wordpress or where-ever I settled on good old Blogger, because its what I know and understand.
Or at least I thought it was what I knew and understood until I tried to add a new template and edit it - turns out I'm pretty crap when it comes to stuff like that so lovely Heather stepped in again and explained it all too me and that's how I've got to where I am at the moment!

* * * * * * *

The new blog is currently under construction and will be launched on the 8th May, certain items of extreme coolness and significance have been ordered, people have been contacted and plans are beginning to be made.

So keep an eye out in the next few weeks for little snippets about it on here and on Twitter.

Its all very exciting (and not just because I'm a geek) quite simply because....

MissSearles

is going

TOUR!

* Great big thank you to Heather again for helping me with this-shes just as excited about it as me! Lol

A lovely birthday

2010-04-20T20:19:00.000+01:00

Its the perfect end to a lovely birthday, sitting with a cup of tea watching Glee (yes I'm a Gleek!), reading through peoples blog posts, working on a spreadsheet, organising photos on iPhoto, catching up on Twitter and pondering what could be one of my greatest ideas ever, all will be revealed soon!

Birthday Tulips-taken on iPhone

Thank you too all who sent birthday wishes on Twitter

@jfb57 @eljay1980 @1stUniqueGifts @lauralatch91 @RosieScribble @susankmann

@integralist @barracat @somevaguetweet

@smiley_b_ @SocratesN @chellekip @LauraAWNTYM @stuartbyford @totinhas

The Year of MissSearles

2010-04-19T07:30:00.001+01:00

Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday.

I have decided that this year is going to be my year, The Year of MissSearles, if you will.

Lets face it the last 4 months of my 21st year have been a wash-out to say the least, I've probably experienced more upset, heart-ache and berevement in the past few months than I'll ever experience again in my adult life (or god forbid if I do it wont all be within the same 20week time frame) but things are getting better all the time now, hopefully no more big set backs.

So here's to my last day of being 21, new adventures, new friends, new oppourtunities (and to hark back to my original post on this blog) a

New Year, New Start and a New life

The Year of MissSearles

Four Follow Friday Picks

2010-04-16T08:13:00.001+01:00

Four Follow Friday picks...

@tara_cain If you don't already know about 'The Gallery' (the weekly photo craze thats been sweeping the blogosphere) where the hell have you been?!? Tara is the visionary behind this amazing creation.Oh and she's rather lovely too :)

@notefromlapland Well what can I say about Heather?
Trouble maker - I have a blog label and hashtag dedicated to her #IblameHeather

Bitch - She said it herself!
One of my bestest Twitter/Bloggy friends

@nickie72 In her own words 'I have a bit of a stationery ~~fetish~~ ~~obsession~~ ~~addiction~~... erm... I love stationery' she has managed to rekindle my love of my Filofax and take a tiny (teeny tiny) step away from my dependance on my iPhone. For that fact alone she deserves respect...and lots of new followers!

And last but by no means least

@SocratesN AKA SingleParentDad

.....he is also the founder of the 'Sexcel' Movement (he may suggest/offer v-lookups for anyone not feeling the Sexcel love)

And the award for the longest Blog To Do List goes to....

2010-04-15T08:00:00.003+01:00

Ok so this blog award has been on my To Do lists for over a month now since I was first tagged by Holly from It's a Mummy's Life back at the beginning of March (Im crap I know! But it was on my list honest!!) and now I've been tagged by My Mummy wrote this for me so I thought I better pull my finger out and actually post it!
Without further ado, here are 7 things you never knew you needed to know about MissSearles

I have a scar on my eyebrow and if they are waxed wrong I look very suprised on one eye
When I was younger my sister dropped a tin of air freshener on my head from the top of the stairs through the bannisters...I had to go to hospital and get it glued back together...she was about 4...and she laughed :s
Christmas 2008 (Christmas 2009 has officially been written off as null/void for obvious reasons) I managed to not wake up until 7am, which is a vast improvment on my othe records of 4:30am, 5am and my second best 6:10am......I get very excited about Christmas and will sing carols and christmas songs from October.
My childhood pets were named after beverages, Guinness the rabbit and Tango the hamster
I've met and shook the hand of President Obama and Michelle Obama! I got to meet them on their first trip to the UK after he became President, was a very *hush hush* event and security was very tight but they are both really lovely and actually took the time to look you in the eye, say Hello and shake your hand :-)
I can't read music but still managed to pass Music GCSE and Music Tech A-level
I can tie knots with my tongue

The rules of the award are these:
Copy the award to your blog
Insert a link to the person who nominated you
Tell us seven things about yourself that you haven't told us before
Nominate seven other bloggers for the award
Link to their blogs
Tell the nominees about their award

I nominate...
Lucy @ A Modern Day Ricky and Lucy
MrsB @ After All The World Is A Beautiful Place
Laura @ Dim But Witty
Potential Mummy B @ My Baby Adventure
Laura @ Piece of Cake

The Gallery - Joy

2010-04-14T08:23:00.000+01:00

This weeks prompt was 'Joy'

I took this photo (on my iPhone, as always!) over the Easter weekend when we went for a walk along the beach. To me it seems like the perfect picture to depict Spring and new beginnings which is something that is bringing me alot of hope and joy at the moment.

Flowers are beginning to appear in beautiful vibrant colours are my colours are coming back too!

Take a look at this weeks other enteries into The Gallery

Plastic Joy Award

2010-04-12T15:19:00.000+01:00

I've been passed on this Meme by the lovely Nova from 'Cherished by Me'.
It was created by Tattooed Mummy - here be the rules..

This award is the Plastic Joy Award. Now, I wanted to call it the plastic s*x award but guessed that that would attract bots to my (and your!) pages like blood attracts sharks to a shipwreck so…Plastic Joy. It was created in reaction to the picture above, where action man and an unamed myscene doll were caught in the act in my bathroom!

Here’s the thing, if you are awarded the Plastic Joy award you must list 5 fictional characters that ‘you would’ (you know what I’m talking about! Don’t pretend and stop sniggering at the back, I’ll speak to you after class) these should be the real character not ‘actors’ who play the characters on TV (so no David Tennant!!) but actually fictional characters themselves. You can expand on ‘why’ if you like but you can also just list them. (and leave us to comment and wonder!)

Ok so here goes...

Cook from Skins

Gotta love a bad boy! He's just misunderstood....

Gregory House from House

He's funny, clever, arrogant...He's just House...and he can play the piano *swoon*

Will Schuster from Glee

He can sing, plus he's gorgeous and sweet, whats not to like!

Chase from Step-Up 2

He's a dancer, he's funny and he has an amazing body. If you've not seen the film you HAVE to watch it!

JD from Scrubs

He's a bit quirky but he's sensitive and funny

I'm not going to tag anyone with this Meme as it seem most people have already done it (I've beena bit slow with getting it done!)
If you want to have a go though feel free to do so!

Dear So and So...Saying Goodbye

2010-04-09T09:00:00.000+01:00

Dear House,
I can't believe this day has come, after 20 years of being together, after this weekend I can no longer call you my Home.
It wasn't a decision that was taken lightly but it really is for the best.
You're the only Home I've ever really known and you've helped to create so many good memories and they can't ever be taken away from me but lately things have become tainted with bad memories and that's why its time to move on.

I'm going to miss your quirks-the way the 4th and 5th stair really creak, the way you have to push my old bedroom door until it clicks to make sure its shut and things like knowing where someone is in the house just by the sounds the floor makes.
I'm going to miss the friends we have, the next door neighbour who's never missed one of our birthdays and always comes to sing Happy Birthday at the front door (no matter how old we are!) the ones that will always wave from the window if they see me walking up the road.
You've watched me grow-up, I learnt to ride my bike in our garden, do roly-polys in our front room, go under water in our bath, you listened as sung for hours on end practicing for concerts.

I really did believe I would be raising a family in you one day but its not something that can happen now, you'll get to be a home to someone else's children and watch them grow up now and you'll make them just as happy as you've made me.

Thank you for being the only Home I have ever known and the best that I could have ever wanted.
I'm going to miss you,
Lots of love always
Charlotte
xxxx

Life Limbo

2010-04-02T19:09:00.000+01:00

This week has been a bit of a funny week, it’s gone so quickly and there’s so much going on in my head at the moment that I hardly feel like I've had time to take a minute for myself.

I feel like I’m in limbo at the moment, I'm not too sure what’s going on I've made plans for a few weeks time after I've moved to Mum and Dads, I've made plans for my birthday and I've booked flights to go away in June but I can’t quite get my head around what’s going on between now and then.

I'm supposed to be leaving the house and moving to Mum and Dads next weekend-I haven’t started packing, I've got no idea where to start, every time I think about it it just feels like too much to take in. I try to think about it logically but then as soon as I go to make a start on any of it I get a mental block and find something more interesting to do like see friends or go out.

I know I have to get it done and I know I have to do it soon but the problem is that I'm not just packing up to move house, I'm packing up and leaving the home I've lived in for nearly 20 years, I'm packing up my life and starting over. It feels like such a big thing to do and I just want to fast forward a few weeks and have it over and done with.

Any time something has come up lately, a problem or something that knocked the wind out of my sails a little bit, I've just thought to myself, everything will be fine/alot easier in a few weeks once I've moved to Mum and Dads.

I know moving to theirs won’t be the end to all my problems but I’m so desperate to get through the next few weeks and try to close that chapter of my life and start again in a new home and environment.

The only thing stopping myself from doing it is me, one friend suggested just chucking everything in the car and sorting it out when I get to my parents but I feel like I should be spend the time to go through things properly, take time to process the situation, remember the memories I’ve had here, cry about it, say goodbye to my home...it’s going to be a long and emotional week.

The Gallery - Me

2010-03-23T22:25:00.001Z

This weeks prompt was 'Me'

Tara wanted us to share a photo that reflects who we are.
Take a look at this weeks other enteries into The Gallery

This is me, things a bit black and white at the moment.
I know thing are going on but some days they don't feel like they have any colour to them.
Like today; I was sitting on my bed and I couldn't remember what day it was, not in a forgetful sort of way, in a scary - no recollection of whats really happened in the past 48 hours - kind of way, it was horrible, I want the colours back.

There's No Place Like Home

2010-03-23T10:00:00.000Z

Today my body kinda feels like its giving up on me, yesterday was quite a difficult day, I left work early as I was very close to having a panic attack and was really struggling to calm down. I've not felt that out of control of my body in a long time and its a bit of a shock, I still feel like I'm in 'Fight or Flight' mode now and I'm not too sure how to stop it.
I'm feeling a bit like life has caught up with me, after I ignored what I was saying about just taking Baby steps and tried to take some steps I really wasn't ready for.
I'm still happy though, a bit emotionally drained but happy, things are changing for the better and I'm trying to look forward.

A big decision has been made in the past week or so, I'm going to be giving up my house and moving back to my parents.
This house has been my home for 19 years now (the house was our family home and where my sister and I grew up, my parents bought a new place just over a year ago, they moved out and rented this house to me) but I cant afford to stay here and the good memories of growing up here have been tainted by what happened at Christmas.
I wanted this to be the house I raised a family in but I don't think I could share this house, my home, with somebody else now.

I'm sad to be leaving this house but it really is for the best, I'll be able to start over properly and work out what I want to do.

With every end comes a new beginning and a new adventure, so with that in mind, roll on the next few weeks and...

'The New Adventures of MissSearles'
(has to be said in a Superhero style voice)

Photo credit - Google Images

The Gallery - Colour

2010-03-17T08:00:00.003Z

This weeks prompt was 'Colour'

I love all things colourful, sparkly and sugary so I thought I'd share picture of the yummy sprinkles we added to the cupcakes we made for Mum on Mothers Day.

Take a look at the other entries into this weeks Gallery

iPhone Photography-My new Obsession

2010-03-16T14:45:00.012Z

I have a new hobby....iPhone photography!

Lovely photos from a lovely weekend :)

Reason why I love my iPhone #1

The Gallery - A Number

2010-03-10T08:30:00.001Z

This weeks prompt was 'A Number'

I choose Six because that's the number of days that I've felt happy and like I'm back to my old self.

I'm smiling again

2010-03-08T08:38:00.004Z

I woke up smiling on Saturday morning
I woke up happy and motivated
I got housework done
I didn't argue with my sister
I woke up happy on Sunday morning too
We went shopping and bought new clothes, I could smile at my reflection
We went to our parents for Sunday dinner, Mum said I seem back to my old self
They've missed it...I've missed it

Best of all?
I'm singing again, I'm singing properly like I always used to
I haven't sung like that for months
I'm singing because I'm happy and you can hear it in my voice

Things are getting better...I think I've turned the corner

The Gallery - Beauty

2010-03-03T10:49:00.006Z

Tara over at Sticky Fingers has started a new blog feature/workshop called The Gallery

The Gallery
Every week I will give you a prompt, an idea, a notion and you go out and take a photograph using that prompt. Or just use a photo you already have.
The prompt could be one word, an object, an idea, a phrase, anything, and you have to post a picture which you feel represents that prompt.
Post it on your blog and write about it.

This weeks prompt was 'Beauty'
I think these pictures show natural and simple beauty perfectly.

They were taken on my iPhone a few months ago and I'm really pleased with how they've come out. I've decided that all my pictures for The Gallery are going to be taken and edited on my iPhone.

Photo details- The colours on the first photo haven't been enhanced at all (mainly because I didn't know how to do that back then) the second photo was edited using an app called 'ColourSplash

How am I supposed to cope...Can you help me?

2010-02-26T21:58:00.000Z

This is probably one of the most difficult things I've ever had to admit to and its something that I never thought I'd have the courage to say let alone accept.

I'm really not coping at the moment.

On Xmas eve my fiancee left me and my whole world basically fell apart. We were supposed to be getting married on October 2nd this year-the venues, honeymoon, photographer, caterers, DJ were booked and I had found my wedding dress.
We'd talked about trying for a family a year or so after the wedding, we knew where we were going and I thought we were happy. Turns out it was only me that was happy, he wasn't sure it was what he wanted anymore or if he loved me.
Christmas day and boxing day passed in a blur-I slept alot, I didn't eat and I didn't really talk, I cried a little bit but not properly(I cried the first few days but after that I decided I needed to pull myself together-I don't like to seem weak)
The day after boxing day my parents went to visit family and I went home to help him move the rest of his stuff out, not too sure why I helped him-I think i was still in shock-I wanted to see him for a bit longer.
The next day I went away with my parents and sister to see my Uncle in Holland for the week between Christmas and New Years, mainly because I couldn't stand the idea of being in the house on my own and not being near my parents and also because I just wanted to be away from everything. I didn't want to have to answer peoples questions or even begin to think about how I was going to afford the house and the car on my own.

I started this blog on New Years day, if you go back and read my first post you can see the kind of frame of mind I was in, I was excited about starting a new chapter in my life and becoming a new person, being away from the situation and home made it seem so much simpler, it felt like it was just a case of getting back home and going full steam ahead into a new life.
I'd deal with it, I'd cope and I'd be fine.

Problem is I've not dealt with whats happened, I've thrown myself into projects and anything I can think of to try and distract myself from the fact that things aren't ok. I've been putting on a front for the past few months and trying my hardest to not let people see that things are getting to me or affecting me.

The past two months have gone past in a blur, I cant remember what I did yesterday let alone last week. I've not slept or eaten properly in weeks and its really starting to take its toll, I wake up feeling headachey and dizzy, anything I eat makes me feel sick-clothes are hanging off of me (I've lost enough weight to go down a shoe size!) I haven't done any housework since January-luckily my sister has moved in and has taken over the main job of cleaning-my office and bedroom are a mess and I can't concentrate or relax when things aren't organised or neat. I manage best when there are routines and plans set in place, I like to know what has to be done when-it helps me to feel in control.

I'm in self destruct mode, I know I'm making myself ill, I'm contemplating silly things (like dosing myself up on the stupidly strong painkillers the Dr gave me because I know they help me relax to the point that I'm not safe to drive) I know I'm working to much, some days I feel nothing and other my minds going at a mile a minute and I feel like I'm going crazy.

I know I've been running away from things but its because I cant even begin to understand how I'm supposed to cope with all of this and all of a sudden over the past few days I've realised just how bad I've let it get.

So there, I've admitted it. I can't cope and I'm scared and most of all I don't know how to fix it.

I was going to wait until tomorrow morning to post this, I was going to sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning but I'm worried that if I don't post it now I'll convince myself I'm fine and carry on again for another few weeks and make it even worse.
Strangely enough at this moment in time I don't feel scared putting this out there for all to see, at least if my feelings are out there and written down I've admitted how I'm feeling, I realise I'm making myself extremely vulnerable by doing this but I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think I needed too, in all honesty I'm scared about how things will carry on if I don't.

So this is me reaching out, I'm asking for help, how do I go about tackling all of this?
Where do I start?

Wordless Wednesday - Fridge Pics

2010-02-17T11:40:00.000Z

In response to Taras 'Wordless Wednesday: The Fridge door' post

The fridge tends to have mysterious, yet often insightful, messages appear on it!

I love a guy who can sing

2010-02-13T08:00:00.000Z

Not sure how I stumbled across this guy but I'm so glad I did!
His name is Sam Tsui and I think he's amazing...what can I say I'm a sucker for a guy who can sing and the fact that they've covered this song makes it all the more impressive. All the arrangements are created by his friend Kurt Schneider and sung by Sam I'll be posting some more of their videos on here but if you want to check them out for yourself here's their YouTube channel

I'm a member of the Secret Post Club, are you?

2010-02-11T09:28:00.010Z

Heather over at Notes from Lapland had the amazingly brilliant idea the other day of starting a 'Secret Post Club'

The joy of seeing a hand written envelope or parcel that is neither a bill nor someone trying to sell you something.

The excitement as you open it. What is it? Who is it from?

The rush to devour the contents, skim read the letter to find who has sent it to you.

And the warm happiness as you sit down and leisurely take it all in, often re reading parts of the letter or turning over the small gift in your hands. A fuzzy happiness that someone out there thought of you and bothered to send you something, that a few days ago they were thinking of you and reached out to touch your life in some little way.

Everyone loves to receive unexpected gifts or letters, but how many of us do these days? And how many of us are guilty of not doing the reaching out in the first place?

I know I am.

As a teenager my best friends and I wrote to each other all the time, and it was such a lovely feeling, knowing that you were in that person's thoughts right then, even though you weren't with them and were probably sitting at home eating your tea or watching Eastenders at the time. And yet as the years have passed and email, text messages, Facebook and Twitter have replaced all that, it feels like we are missing something, like something is being lost.

And I want to regain that, I wonder if you do too.

If your anything like me you will be stupidly excited about this idea, if you fancy joining the club just click through on the links at the top of this post and it will take you to the form you need :-)

In fact its so good its going under my 'Greatest ever...' labels
Greatest ever...parcel related idea!

More proof of my geeky-ness...

2010-02-06T09:00:00.000Z

Forget 'Westside' & 'Eastside'

this is...

Windows Microsoft Excel

Gotta love spreadsheets!

Favourite Photos Friday

2010-02-05T09:00:00.000Z

Not sure how old Natalie and I are in this pic but im guessing it was taken around 1993-1994.

So glad we dont have that lovely carpet in the living room anymore!

The funny thing is that I went over to a work friends house the other week and we were looking at pictures of her kids and she had one exactly the same as this, pushing each other around in a pushchair.

Any mummy bloggers have a pic like this?

Greatest ever...mug

2010-02-04T08:00:00.001Z

Marshmallows Challenge AKA Heather made me do it!

2010-02-03T20:55:00.005Z

Check out the other entries on Heathers Blog

Greatest ever...Tic-Tac flavour

2010-02-02T08:00:00.002Z

Just wanted to share this with you...

We found them in Holland and the taste is spot on-Best flavour ever!

Body MOT

2010-01-21T14:10:00.001Z

I didn't go down the route that most people go down after a break up, I didn’t get a drastic new hair cut, buy a new wardrobe or hit the gym, I just kind of gave myself a bit of a Body MOT
I did all the stuff I'd been meaning to get done for ages but was too busy to do before Christmas.

The week I got back home I got my fringe trimmed as it was about an inch too long and Mum coloured it for me on Sunday as my roots were about 3 inches long!
I bought a new handbag, top and belt while I was in Holland but that’s about it clothing wise.
I did contemplate doing some exercise and have been meaning to jump on the Wii-Fit at some point but haven't actually got around to it yet. I have lost weight but I think that’s mainly due to cutting out bread and also being so busy at work and at home that I'm not getting a chance to snack, its also quite possibly helped by the fact that chocolate (and infact anything dairy) now makes me feel sick.

My parents got me vouchers for the beauticians for Christmas and I went to get my eyebrows waxed last week, I get my eyebrows waxed every few weeks but last time I decided to be brave and book myself in for a full leg and bikini wax.
So last night I headed off to the place that will from now on be referred to as 'The Torture Chamber'. I'd been chatting to my friend at work about how it couldn't be that painful because lots of people get it done and I'd kinda convinced myself it wouldn’t be too bad.

Please take a moment to understand that apart from eyebrow waxing and some of those rubbishy Boots own brand leg waxing strips I have never had anything like this done before...

...OMFG it hurts!!

Not so much the leg part, that wasn’t too bad but the bikini line part is horrendous, well its horrendous for about 30seconds after its been ripped off and then it kinda fades to a dull ache, then its just the anticipation of knowing its going to happen again a few seconds after...

...The beautician promises me that the first time is always the worst and after that the hair grows back weaker and is easier to wax...someone please tell me she's not lying?!?

Stories and Songs Meme / Reason why I know it'll be ok #1

2010-01-19T15:21:00.000Z

Brits in Bosnia has created a 'Stories and songs Meme'

What I'm after is a song that reminds you of something, that has a story for you. Not necessarily your favourite song or a even a song that you love, but a song that instantly takes you back to that time and place.

My favourite song of all time is 'Years From Now' by Dr.Hook. It has been one of my favourite songs for as long as I can remember and it always reminds me of being on holiday when I was younger. We never used to be able to afford to fly to go on holiday so we spent a few summers driving down to my Nan and Grandads house in France, we used to play the same cassette tapes in the car for years and from a young age Natalie and I knew all the words to The Beautiful South-Carry on up the Charts tape, Simply Red-Fairground album and Dr.Hook-Greatest Hits.

This song is just perfect, beautifully arranged and sang and lovely words- it was supposed to be the song for my first dance at my wedding and everytime I'd listened to it for the past year or so I could picture that moment in my mind...when that all changed at Christmas I was worried I'd never be able to listen to this song again.

I was sitting in my office last night with iTunes on random and it came on without me realising, I was half way through singing along before I realised what it was, I stopped to think for a second almost expecting myself to get upset but I didn't, I was actually really happy.

"Years from now, I'll want you years from now
And I'll hold you years from now, as I love you tonight

You are my one true friend, always my one true friend
And I'll love you 'til life's end, as I love you tonight

I know this world that we live in can be hard now and then
And it will be again, many times we've been down
But still love has kept us together, the flame never dies
When I look in your eyes, the future I see

Wanting you years from now, and holding you years from now
And loving you years from now, as I love you tonight

I know this world that we live in can be hard now and then
And it will be again, many times we've been down
Still love has kept us together, the flame never dies
When I look in your eyes, the future I see

Wanting you years from now, and holding you years from now
And loving you years from now, as I love you tonight"

I thought it would remind me of the wedding that wouldn't be happening and the life thats changed so much, but it didn't, it made me realise that I will get that special day eventually and one day this song will mean as much to the special person that I'll share it with as it does to me.

I don't think anything can ruin this song for me and thats one of the best feelings ever, knowing that there are always going to be little things that make me happy is one of the reasons why I know everything will be ok.

Thank you for thinking up such a great Meme Brits in Bosnia

Favourite Photos Friday - I love boxes!

2010-01-15T09:20:00.002Z

I love boxes!

What more of an explanation do you need than that?

Oh ok then,

This is a picture of me and my uncle probably taken in late 1989 or early 1990, I found a box I like to play in so he carried me around in it all day.

Even now I still love boxes, I got very excited when I got given a box of boxes recently. I was stressing out about how to package items for a craft fair and the day was saved by these perfect sized, white wonders :-)

I Love Boxes!!!

Yes, I am slightly strange...

Come on world! What else you got to throw at me?

2010-01-13T08:42:00.003Z

I was doing ok up until last night.
I'd been spending my time relaxing and catching up with friends (which is my excuse for not doing a post!) and generally taking each day as it came.
Went over to mum and dads last night for dinner and mum said she had had some bad news, my cousin had died.

He was Canadian but lived in Vietnam and even though I've only met him once or twice it had really upset me. We're a very close family even though we're spread out across the world we all keep up with what’s going on through things like facebook. I'd only been looking through his photos a few weeks ago.
What feels worse though is wondering what his parents must be going through, he was actually my mums cousin, so he was my 2nd cousin really but he was closer to my age than my mums, his parents are my great aunt and uncle. My great aunt has just had eye surgery and so she cant fly for a good few weeks, which means my great uncle will have to fly to Vietnam on his own, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that’s going to be for him and feels helpless that there’s nothing I can say or do.

RIP Dean
You are loved very much and will be missed.

Favourite Photos Friday

2010-01-08T07:30:00.008Z

After doing Tara's photo Meme the other day I'd found so many great photos that I loved that I thought I'd share them with you other the next few Fridays. So without further ado I give you my first 'Favourite Photo Friday'

Me and my Dad-1989-I was probably a year or so old and Dad was 25/26

I love how fluffy my hair was!

I also love baby photos (maybe because I'm jealous of all the mummy bloggers pics of their children) so be prepared for more of MissSearles the Early Years in the coming weeks...

My Favourite Photo Meme

2010-01-06T22:23:00.002Z

Natalie and I at Colchester Zoo in 2005-Pulling an elephant

So here it is, my first Meme!!

Tara over at Sticky Fingers has created a photo Meme and I've spent a few days looking through my photos to decide on my favourite one.

There were lots to choose for (which I'm saving for other posts) but this was the one that stood out as the one that's most important to me at the moment. It's of Natalie and I at Colchester zoo in 2005, I would have been 16 and she would have been 13.

I love this photo because it shows her doing exactly what she's doing for me now, supporting me while im trying to pull the weight of an elephant...metaphorical elephant of course. She's been there for me 100% the past few weeks and I love her so much for it.

So here's what you have to do- read the rules below and visit Tara and let her know once your done !

What is your favourite photograph. And why?
It's as simple as that.
It can be your wedding day, your children, walking in the park/on a beach/hand in hand. It can be your backgarden on a frosty morning, a holiday photo, the day you met someone famous, the day you met your other half.
It can be a lost relative, a family gathering, a picture of you in your youth.
Post it, say why it's your fav then invite someone else to do the same.

I'm not going to tag anyone in particular so take this as an open invitation to anyone who reads to take part in this Meme!

Please Ignore-Technorati Claim Post

2010-01-05T11:00:00.000Z

57UC8EBPRE9Q

Blogosphere Appreciation

2010-01-04T15:22:00.001Z

I've decided to do a little post to say Thank You to all the other Bloggers in the Blogosphere who have helped me out.

One of the first blogs I started reading was Sticky Fingers by the lovely Tara.
Tara was kind enough to answer my emails full of questions when I first ventured into having my own blog, she gave me some great tips and pointers and also introduced me to some other great blogs-one of them being...

...The one and only Jo Beaufoix!
I'm a bit of a blog stalker and if I find one I really like I will make the effort to read all through the archives-this means that I also have a tendency to comment on old posts (I'm talking a few years old not weeks!) Jo would often reply to comments I'd added on her older posts and has been a great friend to me and offered words of advice and encouragement when I emailed her the other week about my sudden 'single' status.

Paper-and-string is one of the first Craft blogs I started reading and it has really inspired me to make this blog into a mixture of a day to day and a craft blog.
Sara is so creative and I love how colourful her blog is, I've emailed her on a few occasions asking for help on some technical and copyright bits and pieces and she's always been really willing to help me out.

So here's a big Thank You to Tara, Jo and Sara!
If you've never seen their blogs before you should pop over and check them out

I'd also like to add a Thanks to everyone who has followed my threads and offered their best wishes and support on the CraftsForum it has really been appreciated especially during the last week or two.

New Year, New Start, New Life!

2010-01-01T00:12:00.000Z

Am I prepared?
Not sure really, things are still up in the air with home at the moment but I've promised not to think to much about it whilst in Holland, luckily I've got a very supportive family and wonderful friends waiting for me when I get home. I've also got alot of support from my friends here in the blogosphere.

There are big plans for MissSearles this year, the person and the business. For starters the business name is changing to 'MissSearles Creations' and will be re-launching again soon with new designs and products. Lots of new ideas in my head which I can't wait to get started on!

As for the person, I'm going to take more time for myself-make an effort with my appearance more, do things I enjoy, seeing friends and cutting myself some slack if things go wrong. Last year, and the past few years if I'm honest, I've been so busy keeping other things and other people afloat and happy that I haven't had time for me.
I'm also going to try and remember that my life is not set to a time limit and to take each day as it comes-If I ever seem to be forgetting that be sure to remind me!

Am I excited?
Yes!!!
As Lorelai would say
"I am Kayak, Hear me roar!"

Here's to a year of new beginnings, bigger plans and better times!

MissSearles

I know I'm a pain in the arse but its why you love me isnt it?!

MissSearles on Tour blog

Week 1 - A is for Attitude

Lottie Loves… Finishing School

Week 1 – A is for Attitude

Writing Workshop- Lost and (soon to be) Found

Damn you chocolate!!

Making-over MissSearles

Lorelai saves the day

Tuesday Grumps

First pictures with new camera!

Listening to my inner 'Yes' voice...and spending some money!

Think Frock It's Friday

Multi-tasking Vs. Uni-tasking

Greatest ever...yummy invention?

The Gallery - Friendship

Tuesday To Do List *UPDATE*

A Tale of Persistance, Tracey (my new bestfriend) and radioactive banana videocameras

AWOL

My brain has gone to squidge

Tuesday To Do List

Adult ADHD?

MissSearles the Model?

Party over here, Party over there!!

Grumpy

The Four

It's the little things #1

The Greatest Ever...Idea

A lovely birthday

The Year of MissSearles

Four Follow Friday Picks

And the award for the longest Blog To Do List goes to....

The Gallery - Joy

Plastic Joy Award

Dear So and So...Saying Goodbye

Life Limbo

The Gallery - Me

There's No Place Like Home

The Gallery - Colour

iPhone Photography-My new Obsession

The Gallery - A Number

I'm smiling again

The Gallery - Beauty

How am I supposed to cope...Can you help me?

Wordless Wednesday - Fridge Pics

I love a guy who can sing

I'm a member of the Secret Post Club, are you?

More proof of my geeky-ness...

Favourite Photos Friday

Greatest ever...mug

Marshmallows Challenge AKA Heather made me do it!

Greatest ever...Tic-Tac flavour

Body MOT

Stories and Songs Meme / Reason why I know it'll be ok #1

Favourite Photos Friday - I love boxes!

Come on world! What else you got to throw at me?

Favourite Photos Friday

My Favourite Photo Meme

Please Ignore-Technorati Claim Post

Blogosphere Appreciation

New Year, New Start, New Life!

Tuesday To Do List UPDATE