Friday, 2 April 2010

Life Limbo

This week has been a bit of a funny week, it’s gone so quickly and there’s so much going on in my head at the moment that I hardly feel like I've had time to take a minute for myself.
I feel like I’m in limbo at the moment, I'm not too sure what’s going on I've made plans for a few weeks time after I've moved to Mum and Dads, I've made plans for my birthday and I've booked flights to go away in June but I can’t quite get my head around what’s going on between now and then.
I'm supposed to be leaving the house and moving to Mum and Dads next weekend-I haven’t started packing, I've got no idea where to start, every time I think about it it just feels like too much to take in. I try to think about it logically but then as soon as I go to make a start on any of it I get a mental block and find something more interesting to do like see friends or go out.

I know I have to get it done and I know I have to do it soon but the problem is that I'm not just packing up to move house, I'm packing up and leaving the home I've lived in for nearly 20 years, I'm packing up my life and starting over. It feels like such a big thing to do and I just want to fast forward a few weeks and have it over and done with.
Any time something has come up lately, a problem or something that knocked the wind out of my sails a little bit, I've just thought to myself, everything will be fine/alot easier in a few weeks once I've moved to Mum and Dads.
I know moving to theirs won’t be the end to all my problems but I’m so desperate to get through the next few weeks and try to close that chapter of my life and start again in a new home and environment.

The only thing stopping myself from doing it is me, one friend suggested just chucking everything in the car and sorting it out when I get to my parents but I feel like I should be spend the time to go through things properly, take time to process the situation, remember the memories I’ve had here, cry about it, say goodbye to my’s going to be a long and emotional week.
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