Listening to my inner 'Yes' voice...and spending some money!

Every since I left school/went into full time work I've never actually had a full months wage to myself. There has always been things to save and pay for, mainly to do with moving out, weddings or ex's breaking my cars (honest to god my poor Punto never went wrong when I was driving it but as soon as I let a boyfriend drive it they broke it!)
Now that I've moved back with my parents and cleared the final bills from my house I've found I've had some money left over! For the first time in my life I've actually had a bit of 'Money Freedom' and I've taken it as a chance to treat myself.
My first big spend wasn't so much a 'I've got the money to do this' sorta thing but more of a 'I need a break and I can afford to do this' spur of the moment decision. I've booked flights to go to Canada to visit my family at the end of June.
I find it very hard to hear my inner yes voice, as one of my Twitter friends aptly put it, and always feel a pang of guilt over spending money on something that isn't really an essential. I'm so glad I didn't think to hard about booking the flights because if I'd have slept on it I probably would have talked myself out of it and not booked them at all and I really feel like I could do with the break just to relax.
My next purchases are a classic case of me indulging my geeky side. I've said for ages that I'd like to get myself a nice camera, I don't know enough about photography to splash out on a SLR so I went for, in my opinion, the next best thing... a Canon PowerShot SX20 IS

 

I also bought a Flip Video camera, justified by the fact that both of these would be useful for me to take on 'Tour' and the fact that I'm a sucker for anything gadgety.

I'm still getting to grips with working out how to use the camera properly but I'll be posting some photos soon!

Multi-tasking Vs. Uni-tasking

I like being busy and trying to multi-task.
I like having things to do and projects to work on.

I don't like feeling unorganized and I really don't like it when I can't concentrate because there is too much going on in my head. A few weeks ago I started a 'Tuesday To Do List' the idea being that if I wrote down a list on my blog I was more likely to get it done (because you lot would tell me off if not!) and that did work well, but I still felt like I had too much going on in my head.
I work best when there are routines or a schedule to follow-I like the feeling in control.
After a quick convo on Twitter with @vwallop and @mummylimited, where I was

1. Reassured I'm not a freak for considering making myself a schedule to plan out my evenings and
2. told that multi-tasking is a really inefficient way to work and pointed towards this article and I decided that I'd give Uni-tasking a go.

I came up with...

'a cunning plan'

It involves devising a schedule for some evenings during the week to help plan my time better and by trying Uni-tasking it means that I can just focus on one task at a time with no other distractions (so no music on while I'm trying to write, no Twitter (I know..its scary!) when I'm trying to sort paper work etc - it makes sense; I'm easily distracted, if I minimise distractions I should be able to work quicker and more efficiently) 

I'm not going to go overboard and try to micro manage every last minute of my evening I'm just going to try setting aside a few hours that I can break down into chunks to work on certain areas; for example - setting aside time to blog, answer emails, catch up on my Google Reader, tidy-up.

I know this probably sounds amazingly boring, tedious and overly controlling to most of you but if you could experience just how busy and crazy my head feels some days then you'd understand why I'm so excited at the prospect of this working to help turn down the noise!

My brain has gone to squidge

I'm split between TGIF-looking forward to a weekend away at the #Reading Tweet-up and meeting other bloggers and the guest of honour Heather for the first time and OMFG it's Friday and I still have so much I wanted to get done on the MSOT blog and at home and just in general.
My brain has gone to a squidge like state, but it seems like the idea of using lists is working quite well, I've managed to cross the following of the Tuesday To Do List;

1. Buy Travel insurance for Canada
2. Sort out the paperwork/letters/bills in the overflowing letter rack Finals utilities bills from living in the old house have been paid,letters that need replying too have been put it priority order and paperwork has been shredded/filed
3. Pack and send Secret Post club gift
4. Handwash MSonT hoody All clean and ready for this weekend...smells very strongly of hand wash stuff though :-s
5. Sort through the basket of clean washing that's sitting by my wardrobe..and maybe do some ironing Have picked out what I'm wearing for the Tweet-up and luckily it doesn't have to be ironed
6. MSonT - finish all info pages/finish drafting posts
7. Work out the route for getting to Reading on Saturday for the #ReadingTweetUp
8. Change address on car insurance

I think it may be easiest if my life was just one big list from now on...oooo and maybe I need a schedule/routine too...I feel a spreadsheet coming on!!

Tuesday To Do List

Today my head is full of mush, much in keeping with yesterdays post, so it seems like the perfect time to create 'Tuesday To Do List ' and try to form some of the mush into words, in a list, on my blog for all to see and make sure I get done.
Here's what I want to get sorted this week;

1. Buy Travel insurance for Canada
2. Sort out the paperwork/letters/bills in the overflowing letter rack
3. Pack and send Secret Post club gift
4. Handwash MSonT hoody
5. Sort through the basket of clean washing that's sitting by my wardrobe..and maybe do some ironing
6. MSonT - finish all info pages/finish drafting posts
7. Work out the route for getting to Reading on Saturday for the #ReadingTweetUp
8. Change address on car insurance

Adult ADHD?

I've written posts in the past about how sometimes I feel like I cant concentrate and have too much going on in my head. Then there was that one time when I couldn't actually remember what day it was and had no recollection of the few days prior.

I find it difficult to focus my thoughts sometimes and work on one project at a time, I'll often go off on tangents in conversation and have no idea what i was originally talking about. I have been known to end up crying in a heap on the floor (mainly when tired) because i cant work out what I'm supposed to be doing because my head feels too jumbled to think straight.

I don't do relaxing, I cant sit still for long enough to relax. If I'm sitting at my desk I'm either tapping my foot, swinging my legs and playing with a pen/rubber/band/phone cord.

I don't remember a time when I've ever been any different, definitely not in recent years anyway, and Ive always just put it down to being a bit crazy different hyperactive.

Good news though! Turns out I'm not the only one, in one of the rare moment where I actually focused for long enough to go through some of the unread posts in my google reader I saw that Slummy Single Mummy had written a post about Adult ADHD and it turns out shes just as brain power vs. time management-ly challenge as i am.

She posted a link to a highly scientificial and quite obviously definitive quiz and being the hypochondriac that I am I raced over to get my diagnosis.

(FYI Slummy Single Mummy scored 70 on this test)

If you scored…  You may have…

70 & up             Adult ADHD

50 – 69              Moderate ADHD

35 – 49              Mild ADHD

25 – 34              Borderline ADHD

0 – 24                No ADHD likely

Umm...yeah...I scored 85!

But look at the pretty badge I get

Lately it's been getting me more and more stressed out that I can't focus on things or I just simply don't get things done, but I have a plan!!

This, my bloggy pals, is where you come in.
Every week I am going to post a To Do list and I'm going to report back on how I'm getting on, it is your task to keep me in line, tell me off when I'm slacking/offer encouragement and cups of tea.

If I know theres people checking up on I'm more likely to get things done...I hope...oh well, guess its worth a try!

Party over here, Party over there!!

What are you doing over here??

Didn't you know there's a party going on over at the MissSearles on Tour blog!

Wait...you don't know what MissSearles on Tour is?

You better get over there quick and have wander around, find out whats going on, its going to be an awesome project that I'd love you all to get involved in.

 Come over and say Hi and help yourself to a *virtual* drink or two

Can't wait to see you!

The Greatest Ever...Idea

The story of my greatest ever idea starts like many of my other 'greatest idea' stories...early in the morning with a cup of tea in hand and without much thought put behind it.
Let me set the scene - it's the morning of my 22nd birthday, I was sitting on the edge of my bed in a towel after just getting out of the shower, cup of tea in hand when all of a sudden I had an amazing idea...so I did what any normal person does and announced the fact on Twitter

At that point in time it was only an idea, I had no kind of plan behind it all I'd thought of was the fact that
1. I thought it would be fun/funny
2. It would give me a chance to play around with a new blog
3. Its my birthday (kinda forgot that in the whole brilliant new idea excitement)

Although most of my brilliant ideas are almost always absolutely fool proof  *ahem* I thought I'd double check with someone first, so after a quick chat with Heather* (@notefromlapland), via the godsend that is Google Chat and her confirming that it is indeed one of my best ideas ever, I got to work.

After spending most of that day arseing about deciding if I should host it on my own domain or on Wordpress or where-ever I settled on good old Blogger, because its what I know and understand.
Or at least I thought it was what I knew and understood until I tried to add a new template and edit it - turns out I'm pretty crap when it comes to stuff like that so lovely Heather stepped in again and explained it all too me and that's how I've got to where I am at the moment!

* * * * * * *

The new blog is currently under construction and will be launched on the 8th May, certain items of extreme coolness and significance have been ordered, people have been contacted and plans are beginning to be made.

So keep an eye out in the next few weeks for little snippets about it on here and on Twitter.

Its all very exciting (and not just because I'm a geek) quite simply because....

MissSearles 

is going

on 

TOUR!

 * Great big thank you to Heather again for helping me with this-shes just as excited about it as me! Lol

A lovely birthday

Its the perfect end to a lovely birthday, sitting with a cup of tea watching Glee (yes I'm a Gleek!), reading through peoples blog posts, working on a spreadsheet, organising photos on iPhoto, catching up on Twitter and pondering what could be one of my greatest ideas ever, all will be revealed soon!

  Birthday Tulips-taken on iPhone

Thank you too all who sent birthday wishes on Twitter

@jfb57 @eljay1980 @1stUniqueGifts @lauralatch91 @RosieScribble @susankmann 

@integralist @barracat @somevaguetweet 

@smiley_b_ @SocratesN @chellekip @LauraAWNTYM @stuartbyford @totinhas

Dear So and So...Saying Goodbye

Dear House,
I can't believe this day has come, after 20 years of being together, after this weekend I can no longer call you my Home.
It wasn't a decision that was taken lightly but it really is for the best.
You're the only Home I've ever really known and you've helped to create so many good memories and they can't ever be taken away from me but lately  things have become tainted with bad memories and that's why its time to move on.

I'm going to miss your quirks-the way the 4th and 5th stair really creak, the way you have to push my old bedroom door until it clicks to make sure its shut and things like knowing where someone is in the house just by the sounds the floor makes.
I'm going to miss the friends we have, the next door neighbour who's never missed one of our birthdays and always comes to sing Happy Birthday at the front door (no matter how old we are!) the ones that will always wave from the window if they see me walking up the road.
You've watched me grow-up, I learnt to ride my bike in our garden, do roly-polys in our front room, go under water in our bath, you listened as sung for hours on end practicing for concerts.

I really did believe I would be raising a family in you one day but its not something that can happen now, you'll get to be a home to someone else's children and watch them grow up now and you'll  make them just as happy as you've made me.

Thank you for being the only Home I have ever known and the best that I could have ever wanted.
I'm going to miss you,
Lots of love always
Charlotte
xxxx

Life Limbo

This week has been a bit of a funny week, it’s gone so quickly and there’s so much going on in my head at the moment that I hardly feel like I've had time to take a minute for myself.

I feel like I’m in limbo at the moment, I'm not too sure what’s going on I've made plans for a few weeks time after I've moved to Mum and Dads, I've made plans for my birthday and I've booked flights to go away in June but I can’t quite get my head around what’s going on between now and then.

I'm supposed to be leaving the house and moving to Mum and Dads next weekend-I haven’t started packing, I've got no idea where to start, every time I think about it it just feels like too much to take in. I try to think about it logically but then as soon as I go to make a start on any of it I get a mental block and find something more interesting to do like see friends or go out.

I know I have to get it done and I know I have to do it soon but the problem is that I'm not just packing up to move house, I'm packing up and leaving the home I've lived in for nearly 20 years, I'm packing up my life and starting over. It feels like such a big thing to do and I just want to fast forward a few weeks and have it over and done with.

Any time something has come up lately, a problem or something that knocked the wind out of my sails a little bit, I've just thought to myself, everything will be fine/alot easier in a few weeks once I've moved to Mum and Dads.

I know moving to theirs won’t be the end to all my problems but I’m so desperate to get through the next few weeks and try to close that chapter of my life and start again in a new home and environment.

The only thing stopping myself from doing it is me, one friend suggested just chucking everything in the car and sorting it out when I get to my parents but I feel like I should be spend the time to go through things properly, take time to process the situation, remember the memories I’ve had here, cry about it, say goodbye to my home...it’s going to be a long and emotional week.

There's No Place Like Home

Today my body kinda feels like its giving up on me, yesterday was quite a difficult day, I left work early as I was very close to having a panic attack and was really struggling to calm down. I've not felt that out of control of my body in a long time and its a bit of a shock, I still feel like I'm in 'Fight or Flight' mode now and I'm not too sure how to stop it.
I'm feeling a bit like life has caught up with me, after I ignored what I was saying about just taking Baby steps and tried to take some steps I really wasn't ready for.
I'm still happy though, a bit emotionally drained but happy, things are changing for the better and I'm trying to look forward.

A big decision has been made in the past week or so, I'm going to be giving up my house and moving back to my parents.
This house has been my home for 19 years now (the house was our family home and where my sister and I grew up, my parents bought a new place just over a year ago, they moved out and rented this house to me) but I cant afford to stay here and the good memories of growing up here have been tainted by what happened at Christmas.
I wanted this to be the house I raised a family in but I don't think I could share this house, my home, with somebody else now.

I'm sad to be leaving this house but it really is for the best, I'll be able to start over properly and work out what I want to do.

With every end comes a new beginning and a new adventure, so with that in mind, roll on the next few weeks and...

'The New Adventures of MissSearles'
(has to be said in a Superhero style voice)


Photo credit - Google Images

New Year, New Start, New Life!

Am I prepared?
Not sure really, things are still up in the air with home at the moment but I've promised not to think to much about it whilst in Holland, luckily I've got a very supportive family and wonderful friends waiting for me when I get home. I've also got alot of support from my friends here in the blogosphere.

There are big plans for MissSearles this year, the person and the business. For starters the business name is changing to 'MissSearles Creations' and will be re-launching again soon with new designs and products. Lots of new ideas in my head which I can't wait to get started on!

As for the person, I'm going to take more time for myself-make an effort with my appearance more, do things I enjoy, seeing friends and cutting myself some slack if things go wrong. Last year, and the past few years if I'm honest, I've been so busy keeping other things and other people afloat and happy that I haven't had time for me.
I'm also going to try and remember that my life is not set to a time limit and to take each day as it comes-If I ever seem to be forgetting that be sure to remind me!

Am I excited?
Yes!!!
As Lorelai would say
"I am Kayak, Hear me roar!"

Here's to a year of new beginnings, bigger plans and better times!